This week I added a new category to my blogroll. Toy With Me! is for bloggers who are primarily (not necessarily exclusively) sex toy reviewers.
While researching review blogs, I discovered that there are hardly any men reviewing toys. With all the new male toys on the market these days, and the increase in the ones from quality manufacturers like LELO, Tantus, Aneros and Tenga, I wondered, what gives? So I posed this question a few nights ago on Twitter:
I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?
The discussions it sparked were fascinating. Below, I’ve posted four distinct redacted conversations between myself and a terrific cross section of kinky Twitter. (Please forgive me if I applied a description to you that doesn’t fit your own. Feel free to correct me in the comments.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is the lack of male reviewers because men just aren’t into toys as much as women? Do straight men feel that their toys have no place in couples play? Or are they just not interested enough in toys to bother writing about them?
x+x+x+x+x
RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?
@docstrange @koruptid @SweetSpiced @OnxStSyr
docstrange @RavenQuince we like women ;P. Toys just can’t compare.
RavenQuince @docstrange Well, there are just so many male toys on the market now, I’m surprised there aren’t more male reviewers.
docstrange @RavenQuince such as?
RavenQuince @docstrange Aneros line, Tantus, Fleshlight, Tenga sleeves.+cock rings, cock locks, condoms, lube etc. SO much to be said from a male view
docstrange @RavenQuince I find the fleshlight to be downright creepy. I’m not the target market, lol.
RavenQuince @docstrange Yes, well, I think Real Dolls are creepy. What about prostate toys? Or, say, a vibrating cock ring – like Lelo Bo?
docstrange @RavenQuince the quality of materials on those seems decent.
RavenQuince @docstrange Are you referring to Real Dolls? Which materials?
docstrange @RavenQuince true, real dolls are creepy, but that represents maybe a couple of thousand units they’ve sold?
docstrange @RavenQuince sorry, I mean the lelo seems decent.
koruptid @ravenquince @docstrange mmm, nice conversation to see on twitter after a some good sex and bondage
RavenQuince @koruptid Do you know of any male sex toy reviewers? I’m curious about why there are so few considering all the new male toys out now.
docstrange @koruptid I told her it is because we like ladies, lol.
RavenQuince @docstrange Do you use toys for your own pleasure? Lelo is certainly excellent quality. As is Tantus and Aneros
koruptid @ravenquince can’t say I’ve met any… (hopes some toy companies are listening) test subject ahoy!
koruptid @ravenquince hm, personally i don’t have too much need… more partner oriented. Though, blatant curiosity could drive me
docstrange @RavenQuince no, they don’t interest me at all to be honest. Aside from lubes and warming fluids.
docstrange @koruptid I like that term, ‘partner oriented’
koruptid @docstrange is it just me or are most male sex toys oriented towards guy who are partnerless?
RavenQuince @koruptid @docstrange I’m fascinated that there’s no interest in sex toys for men (well from you two, anyway). Enhance couple sex+intimacy?
koruptid @docstrange nice way of saying that I prefer it when they cum first, multiple times, and often.
koruptid @ravenquince oh, I love using any toy to enhance her pleasure… I just don’t have any functional need to increase mine.
SweetSpiced @RavenQuince @docstrange you know, I wonder how many guys feel like that. And is it a case of tried and didn’t like, or just not tried.
RavenQuince @koruptid @docstrange Um, you can use a prostate stimulator with your partner. Cock ring too. Paddle/flogger/crop..
koruptid @ravenquince though, you could argue that the rope was entirely for me… in which case you could say that I do
docstrange @RavenQuince sure, with womens toys.
koruptid @ravenquince cock ring, check. double with vibe, check. I think the main point is, nothing specifically for me and me alone.
docstrange @SweetSpiced I don’t know, the fleshlight seems to be selling though it is a drop in the bucket compared to womens toy market.
RavenQuince @SweetSpiced Is it a control thing? To have a toy used on you requires giving yourself over. Possibly some men would rather not go there.
SweetSpiced @docstrange But like @RavenQuince said, there are so many other options. Do most guys only want the basic hole to fill? hope I don’t offend
SweetSpiced @RavenQuince Or – ego? I don’t need a toy to get off?
RavenQuince @SweetSpiced Not ego. I just don’t think that (most straight) men are conditioned to consider it an option when with a woman.
docstrange @SweetSpiced more work than they are worth. It’s sex, not a camping trip, lol
docstrange @RavenQuince you give control when you receive oral sex, men seem to be generally ok with that
RavenQuince @docstrange You’ve got a point about oral sex. You do give up some control there (And oh boy, do I like taking it then!)
SweetSpiced @docstrange But – the different sensations might prove even better – or just different
OnxStSyr @SweetSpiced and @docstrange I think there’s a far greater social stigma attached to sex toys for males which might explain much of it
docstrange @OnxStSyr can you imagine a guy posting that ‘toy x’ is better than a woman? I can’t.
OnxStSyr @docstrangethese days it’s almost expected a woman will have at least one toy, but if a man has a pocket pussy he’s a perverte loser
OnxStSyr Speaking of male sex toys, I really need to crank some reviews out
SweetSpiced @docstrange But – the different sensations might prove even better – or just different
docstrange @SweetSpiced possible, but you have to wonder why men use phone sex far more than women, and vice versa with toys.
x+x+x+x+x
RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?
@sylvanus @mydesire
sylvanus @RavenQuince none i would recommend
RavenQuince @sylvanus Well, of course I know that you’ve done some reviews. But, it’s not something that you emphasize.
sylvanus @RavenQuince are there that many male toys?
RavenQuince @sylvanus There are more and more every day. Compare to a few years ago. There are LOTS more. And good quality.
sylvanus @RavenQuince there just isn’t a lot of variety. Masturbation sleeves…prostate plugs
RavenQuince @sylvanus That much I’ll give you. Cock rings. Cock locks. Why are there no nipple toys geared to men?
sylvanus @RavenQuince toys are generally reserved for lonely people. Couples using them is actually abnormal.
RavenQuince @sylvanus Abnormal? Perhaps, atypical. They’re really that unusual in couples? I wouldn’t have thought so. Wish @freddyandeddy could comment.
sylvanus @RavenQuince i was the first man to use a toy and tongue on @mydesire
mydesire @RavenQuince it’s not very normal at all for couples to use toys. Otherwise @freddyandeddy wouldn’t need to educate.
mydesire @RavenQuince in fact when we tell people we are kinky they follow up with “oh yeah? Do you use toys?”
RavenQuince @mydesire Wow. I truly had no clue that it was not more mainstream. How dull for the rest of the population! (counting blessings AGAIN!)
mydesire @RavenQuince everyone I have ever talked to not in the blogger circuit has no idea what’s out there and are stunned when I talk about it.
mydesire @RavenQuince while I was manning the store for @freddyandeddy, most people who walked in there were coming in for the 1st time.
mydesire @RavenQuince many women buying their first toy at the age of 50. We are a lucky crowd indeed and have much knowledge to spread
mydesire @RavenQuince Spartacus makes very neutral packaging. At least the clamps I got were.
x+x+x+x+x
RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?
@MetisBlack
MetisBlack @RavenQuince we were approached by another. I’ll find his name later
MetisBlack @RavenQuince It’s Avery Dragon http://averydragon.blogspot.com/
RavenQuince@MetisBlack Thank you. I’ll check it out. As a manufacturer, do you wish there were more male reviewers? They seem to be tiny in number.
MetisBlack @RavenQuince of course but you have to realize you bloggers are really the first wave of grass roots reviews. Your pretty darn new
RavenQuince @MetisBlack For myself, I’m new to this scene since Jan. So for me, it already seems really well established. Hadn’t thought of it as new.
MetisBlack @RavenQuince 2 years old… so it’s all virgin territory. Before Babeland had reveiws by employees and GV had articles but really it’s new
RavenQuince @MetisBlack Well, in the big picture, 2 years is very new. To a newbie like me, I wonder if there’s room for more. I see a need for men, tho
MetisBlack @RavenQuince I first read reviews of Vixen by Anne Semens who was hired by Vixen then to write about them. That was when we were 3
MetisBlack @RavenQuince It will be interesting to see who continues after college and who makes it a job like mommy bloggers
MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus There are quite a lot of nipple clamps geared towards men. Both Spartacus and M2M do complete lines. Mostly gay.
MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus I don’t think your atypical I think that your totally the typical and no one is talking about it.
RavenQuince @MetisBlack I wonder how neutral packaging for clamps would go over. Take out the only for women and gays stigma, if you get my drift.
MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus also male nipples and female nipples differ on size- both companies gear made for men
x+x+x+x+x
RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?
@MissKissThis
MissKissThis @RavenQuince Also, I think part of the reason for the lack of male reviewers has to do with how woman tend to research more, leading to..
MissKissThis @RavenQuince …them finding sex toy reviews and becomming involved. Not sure if men tend to research sex toys as much as women.
RavenQuince @MissKissThis They seem to have a different attitude towards them, for sure.
RavenQuince @MissKissThis Not sure of your orientation, but have you ever used a male toy with partner? (Plug, cock ring, sleeve, etc.) Good/not good?
MissKissThis @RavenQuince I used couples toys long before I ever used a sex toy solo, but I’m not sure how common that is.
MissKissThis @RavenQuince Plugs and sleeves get a lot of use in this house! The only cock ring we use often is a simple stainless steel band.
RavenQuince @MissKissThis I’m curious, do you use the sleeve in couples play?
MissKissThis @RavenQuince Sometimes, mostly just as a quasi-handjob. Fleshlights and sleeves are much more fun to me than lubey, sore hands.
x+x+x+x+x
Interestingly, this discussion revealed that @mydesire @MetisBlack and myself all had our first vibrators when we were 17 or 18 years old. In all of our cases they were acquired for the purpose of of using them with our boyfriends. Did this early exploration of toys and couple play set the stage for being open sexual beings in adulthood? Or was it a byproduct of already embracing acceptance of our sexuality that would then lead us to being open?
Lastly, please to let me know if you know of any men who are primarily sex toy reviewers, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Recent Comments