Where Are All The Male Toy Reviewers?

7 09 2009

This week I added a new category to my blogroll. Toy With Me! is for bloggers who are primarily (not necessarily exclusively) sex toy reviewers.

While researching review blogs, I discovered that there are hardly any men reviewing toys. With all the new male toys on the market these days, and the increase in the ones from quality manufacturers like LELO, Tantus, Aneros and Tenga, I wondered, what gives? So I posed this question a few nights ago on Twitter:

I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?

The discussions  it sparked were fascinating. Below, I’ve posted four distinct redacted conversations between myself and a terrific cross section of kinky Twitter. (Please forgive me if I applied a description to you that doesn’t fit your own. Feel free to correct me in the comments.)

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is the lack of male reviewers because  men just aren’t into toys as much as women? Do straight men feel that their toys have no place in couples play? Or are they just not interested enough in toys to bother writing about them?

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RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?

@docstrange @koruptid @SweetSpiced @OnxStSyr

docstrange @RavenQuince we like women ;P. Toys just can’t compare.

RavenQuince @docstrange Well, there are just so many male toys on the market now, I’m surprised there aren’t more male reviewers.

docstrange @RavenQuince such as?

RavenQuince @docstrange Aneros line, Tantus, Fleshlight, Tenga sleeves.+cock rings, cock locks, condoms, lube etc. SO much to be said from a male view

docstrange @RavenQuince I find the fleshlight to be downright creepy. I’m not the target market, lol.

RavenQuince @docstrange Yes, well, I think Real Dolls are creepy. What about prostate toys? Or, say, a vibrating cock ring – like Lelo Bo?

docstrange @RavenQuince the quality of materials on those seems decent.

RavenQuince @docstrange Are you referring to Real Dolls? Which materials?

docstrange @RavenQuince true, real dolls are creepy, but that represents maybe a couple of thousand units they’ve sold?

docstrange @RavenQuince sorry, I mean the lelo seems decent.

koruptid @ravenquince @docstrange mmm, nice conversation to see on twitter after a some good sex and bondage

RavenQuince @koruptid Do you know of any male sex toy reviewers? I’m curious about why there are so few considering all the new male toys out now.

docstrange @koruptid I told her it is because we like ladies, lol.

RavenQuince @docstrange Do you use toys for your own pleasure? Lelo is certainly excellent quality. As is Tantus and Aneros

koruptid @ravenquince can’t say I’ve met any… (hopes some toy companies are listening) test subject ahoy!

koruptid @ravenquince hm, personally i don’t have too much need… more partner oriented. Though, blatant curiosity could drive me

docstrange @RavenQuince no, they don’t interest me at all to be honest. Aside from lubes and warming fluids.

docstrange @koruptid I like that term, ‘partner oriented’

koruptid @docstrange is it just me or are most male sex toys oriented towards guy who are partnerless?

RavenQuince @koruptid @docstrange I’m fascinated that there’s no interest in sex toys for men (well from you two, anyway). Enhance couple sex+intimacy?

koruptid @docstrange nice way of saying that I prefer it when they cum first, multiple times, and often.

koruptid @ravenquince oh, I love using any toy to enhance her pleasure… I just don’t have any functional need to increase mine.

SweetSpiced @RavenQuince @docstrange you know, I wonder how many guys feel like that. And is it a case of tried and didn’t like, or just not tried.

RavenQuince @koruptid @docstrange Um, you can use a prostate stimulator with your partner. Cock ring too. Paddle/flogger/crop..

koruptid @ravenquince though, you could argue that the rope was entirely for me… in which case you could say that I do

docstrange @RavenQuince sure, with womens toys. 🙂

koruptid @ravenquince cock ring, check. double with vibe, check. I think the main point is, nothing specifically for me and me alone.

docstrange @SweetSpiced I don’t know, the fleshlight seems to be selling though it is a drop in the bucket compared to womens toy market.

RavenQuince @SweetSpiced Is it a control thing? To have a toy used on you requires giving yourself over. Possibly some men would rather not go there.

SweetSpiced @docstrange But like @RavenQuince said, there are so many other options. Do most guys only want the basic hole to fill? hope I don’t offend

SweetSpiced @RavenQuince Or – ego? I don’t need a toy to get off?

RavenQuince @SweetSpiced Not ego. I just don’t think that (most straight) men are conditioned to consider it an option when with a woman.

docstrange @SweetSpiced more work than they are worth. It’s sex, not a camping trip, lol

docstrange @RavenQuince you give control when you receive oral sex, men seem to be generally ok with that

RavenQuince @docstrange You’ve got a point about oral sex. You do give up some control there (And oh boy, do I like taking it then!)

SweetSpiced @docstrange But – the different sensations might prove even better – or just different

OnxStSyr @SweetSpiced and @docstrange I think there’s a far greater social stigma attached to sex toys for males which might explain much of it

docstrange @OnxStSyr can you imagine a guy posting that ‘toy x’ is better than a woman? I can’t.

OnxStSyr @docstrangethese days it’s almost expected a woman will have at least one toy, but if a man has a pocket pussy he’s a perverte loser

OnxStSyr Speaking of male sex toys, I really need to crank some reviews out

SweetSpiced @docstrange But – the different sensations might prove even better – or just different

docstrange @SweetSpiced possible, but you have to wonder why men use phone sex far more than women, and vice versa with toys.

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RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?

@sylvanus @mydesire

sylvanus @RavenQuince none i would recommend

RavenQuince @sylvanus Well, of course I know that you’ve done some reviews. But, it’s not something that you emphasize.

sylvanus @RavenQuince are there that many male toys?

RavenQuince @sylvanus There are more and more every day. Compare to a few years ago. There are LOTS more. And good quality.

sylvanus @RavenQuince there just isn’t a lot of variety. Masturbation sleeves…prostate plugs

RavenQuince @sylvanus That much I’ll give you. Cock rings. Cock locks. Why are there no nipple toys geared to men?

sylvanus @RavenQuince toys are generally reserved for lonely people. Couples using them is actually abnormal.

RavenQuince @sylvanus Abnormal? Perhaps, atypical. They’re really that unusual in couples? I wouldn’t have thought so. Wish @freddyandeddy could comment.

sylvanus @RavenQuince i was the first man to use a toy and tongue on @mydesire

mydesire @RavenQuince it’s not very normal at all for couples to use toys. Otherwise @freddyandeddy wouldn’t need to educate.

mydesire @RavenQuince in fact when we tell people we are kinky they follow up with “oh yeah? Do you use toys?”

RavenQuince @mydesire Wow. I truly had no clue that it was not more mainstream. How dull for the rest of the population! (counting blessings AGAIN!)

mydesire @RavenQuince everyone I have ever talked to not in the blogger circuit has no idea what’s out there and are stunned when I talk about it.

mydesire @RavenQuince while I was manning the store for @freddyandeddy, most people who walked in there were coming in for the 1st time.

mydesire @RavenQuince many women buying their first toy at the age of 50. We are a lucky crowd indeed and have much knowledge to spread 🙂

mydesire @RavenQuince Spartacus makes very neutral packaging. At least the clamps I got were.

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RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?

@MetisBlack

MetisBlack @RavenQuince we were approached by another. I’ll find his name later

MetisBlack @RavenQuince It’s Avery Dragon http://averydragon.blogspot.com/

RavenQuince@MetisBlack Thank you. I’ll check it out. As a manufacturer, do you wish there were more male reviewers? They seem to be tiny in number.

MetisBlack @RavenQuince of course but you have to realize you bloggers are really the first wave of grass roots reviews. Your pretty darn new

RavenQuince @MetisBlack For myself, I’m new to this scene since Jan. So for me, it already seems really well established. Hadn’t thought of it as new.

MetisBlack @RavenQuince 2 years old… so it’s all virgin territory. Before Babeland had reveiws by employees and GV had articles but really it’s new

RavenQuince @MetisBlack Well, in the big picture, 2 years is very new. To a newbie like me, I wonder if there’s room for more. I see a need for men, tho

MetisBlack @RavenQuince I first read reviews of Vixen by Anne Semens who was hired by Vixen then to write about them. That was when we were 3

MetisBlack @RavenQuince It will be interesting to see who continues after college and who makes it a job like mommy bloggers

MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus There are quite a lot of nipple clamps geared towards men. Both Spartacus and M2M do complete lines. Mostly gay.

MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus I don’t think your atypical I think that your totally the typical and no one is talking about it.

RavenQuince @MetisBlack I wonder how neutral packaging for clamps would go over. Take out the only for women and gays stigma, if you get my drift.

MetisBlack @RavenQuince @sylvanus also male nipples and female nipples differ on size- both companies gear made for men

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RavenQuince I know of only one man (@namelesschaos) doing sex toy reviews. Any oher fellas out there doing them with regularity?

@MissKissThis

MissKissThis @RavenQuince Also, I think part of the reason for the lack of male reviewers has to do with how woman tend to research more, leading to..

MissKissThis @RavenQuince …them finding sex toy reviews and becomming involved. Not sure if men tend to research sex toys as much as women.

RavenQuince @MissKissThis They seem to have a different attitude towards them, for sure.

RavenQuince @MissKissThis Not sure of your orientation, but have you ever used a male toy with partner? (Plug, cock ring, sleeve, etc.) Good/not good?

MissKissThis @RavenQuince I used couples toys long before I ever used a sex toy solo, but I’m not sure how common that is.

MissKissThis @RavenQuince Plugs and sleeves get a lot of use in this house! The only cock ring we use often is a simple stainless steel band.

RavenQuince @MissKissThis I’m curious, do you use the sleeve in couples play?

MissKissThis @RavenQuince Sometimes, mostly just as a quasi-handjob. Fleshlights and sleeves are much more fun to me than lubey, sore hands.

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Interestingly, this discussion revealed that @mydesire @MetisBlack and myself all had our first vibrators when we were 17 or 18 years  old. In all of our cases they were acquired for the purpose of of using them with our boyfriends. Did this early exploration of toys and couple play set the stage for being open sexual beings in adulthood? Or was it a byproduct of already embracing acceptance of our sexuality that would then lead us to being open?

Lastly, please to let me know if you know of any men who are primarily sex toy reviewers, regardless of their sexual orientation.

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12 responses

8 09 2009
Jake

There’s bound to be loads of male sex bloggers/individuals doing reviews, they’re just going to be harder to find. I do reviews once in a blue moon (http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/search/label/review , http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/search/label/toys) and a blog called Todger Talk has done lots: http://todgertalk.blogspot.com/search/label/Sex%20Toy%20Reviews . I’m sure more are just a search away!

8 09 2009
Graydancer

I’ve actually done several reviews of products from Extreme Restraints, only they are more used on my podcast than on my blog. Here’s a few of them:

http://bestsexbloggers.com/2009/02/22/graydancers-ropecast-2-21-09-interview-with-lolita-wolf-more/ Where I review nipple clamps and anal jewelry.

http://graydancer.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=344699 Reviewing a sex swing stand and an electrical stim device.

http://graydancer.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=386731 I review a flogger with Rita Seagrave.

Now, the thing is, these aren’t things that are used ON me, but things I use with others – even the anal plugs were used on others, in spite of the fact that I enjoy anal play. I have some toys that I’ve not yet gotten to review, but that’s more for lack of partner’s willingness (i.e., I would have to have someone to wear the strap on). I’ve also reviewed (but can’t find online right now) the tantus silicone cock ring.

While I confess to being a bit skeeved by the Fleshlight, I’m fascinated by the Tenga, and would review it (along with any and all aneros toys) in a heartbeat given the opportunity. Well, maybe a little longer than a heartbeat…hmm, unless they really ARE that good…

I’m intrigued by the idea of making them part of a partner session – using a tenga on your partner, for example. Personally, I think Tenga should make me their roving ambassador, spreading their products and evangelizing.

Hey, a guy can dream, right?

9 09 2009
dominadoll

Thanks for visiting my site! I know two male sex toy reviewers. http://www.youtube.com/mattinks (he does raunchy video sex toy review… very funny) and http://www.theinqueery.com (works at a brick & mortar sex toy, very informative reviews)… If you find any more, let me know!

13 09 2009
Wilhelmina

hmm, interesting… i think it’s because there’s just more out there for women and it’s also more “encouraged” or acceptable, as someone in your post said. self-perpetuating circle, or whatever. i wonder why there are so much more women sexbloggers than men though, because clearly men care about sex as much as we do… 😛

18 09 2009
Dragon Mage

I believe I saw part of your twitter conversation with @sweetspiced (and even responded to her a couple of times). I have reviewed a few toys for a web company, and intend to continue reviewing as I have time.
(the reviews I have done can be found here: http://dragonmage.wordpress.com/category/reviews/ )

6 10 2009
DollfaceKilla

Joseph from http://www.undressedreviews.com/ is my favorite new male reviewer. Hilarious stuff.

7 10 2009
Joseph

Hey, thanks for the shout-out, Doll face. I’m a big fan of yours as well.

I think a lot of the problem is that societally speaking, men are afraid of sex toys. “If you need something other than your dick, your dick is not good enough.”

29 10 2009
pocketpussy

it would be nice to get some more male persepctives … maybe the problem is inhibitions to post about this subject?

9 11 2009
ravenquince

I think with many straight men there is a stigma around sex toys. There is the misinformed macho myth that a man’s cock should be enough for his partner and that if she needs/wants something else, then he is somehow not fulfilling her needs (and is therefore less of a man). As for male-centric toys, I think that many straight men don’t want to talk about their own masturbation. It’s as if there’s a judgement on using a “device” that makes anything more than their own hand dirty. And as for anal stimulation, the straight male macho myth would hold that in suspicion as well. Overall, in this regard, straight men have a lot of deprogramming to do when it comes to sex toys.

9 11 2009
Jake

@ravenquince – but those of us who can see through that get all the fun 😉

9 11 2009
ravenquince

Jake, thanks so much for coming by not once, but twice 🙂 I apologize for not having checked out your blog the first time around. After giving myself a stern talking-to and a spank for good measure, I’ve had a quick look and like what I see. 🙂 I promise to read more later this week as time allows. It’s good to see another man who write and explore his sexuality. And if your blog image/avatar is you, you’re awfully easy on the eyes as well. 🙂

9 11 2009
Jake

Thanks – I wish I could update it more but there’s still quite a decent lot of archived posts – I think my older posts were the best too!

Hehe and yes, the image is I – check my HNTs for more of that!

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