Gone Vanilla

15 09 2010

I’ve been absent here for a long time. And, I’ve only popped into Twitter every few weeks to check in. A few people have commented and asked where I’ve been, which was very nice to know that they were thinking of me.

It would be easy for me to blame the sour taste left from a rare online dalliance that ended last year. The incident wounded me, for sure. And, it certainly left me wary of getting close to anyone in these circles again. After it ended, I slowly began to withdraw from this world, afraid to be hurt.

Then, life started to get busy and Vanillaville required my full attention. This made it easier not to come back when I was feeling vulnerable. And harder to come back when I truly missed this kinky, hypersexualized world.

I am still Raven.

Though my time is spent in Vanillaville, I have not given up my kinks. I may not have time to write about my explorations here, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I’m happy to say that things are better than ever in that department. My husband and I are continuously evolving, and things are very good between us both in, and out, of the bedroom.

That’s about as much of an update as I can manage today. I have not ruled out coming back occasionally to share something sexy. But for now, Vanillaville awaits.


Erotic Touch Brings Electronic Tattoos to Life

29 11 2009

I love tattoos. I got my first tattoo long before they became fashionable. back when it was rare for women to have them and they were still the marking of a bad ass punk. I wore it proudly.

A lover from long ago had multiple tattoos and I always loved running my fingertips over them, tracing their lines, asking their stories, seeing how their colors changed when wet.

Tonight I saw something that BLEW MY MIND. (hat tip @keyholesessions)

Electronic tattoos, right out of the future, under development by megacorp Philips at the University of Pennsylvania. These are silicon and silk implantable devices that sit under the skin and are already being tested on mice. Eventually the silk dissolves away into the body leaving only the electronics in place. Picture a tattoo that is made of LEDs the size of a grain of rice.

In one concept being explored, the electronics will take their energy from touch and the patterns navigated by desire. When you draw your hands over a body, the tattooed image appears on the skin trailing after your touch. The pattern moves and shifts and intensifies as skin responds to touch.

To see a video demonstrating the concept, check out this post. (Try to ignore the rather disturbing imposed sound effect of crackling and sizzling as the tattoo surfaces.)

Imagine how it would encourage erotic touch. You would see a play of design surfacing after your fingertips, revealing itself an inch at a time, like a secret message being decoded, revealing the mystery of your partner’s skin.

What patterns would you display? Would they be placed to lead your lover’s touch to your most sensitive areas, like a treasure map? Would they tell a story of love, lust or betrayal?

On one hand I find the concept quite frightening, in a dystopian Blade Runner kind of way. On the other, I would love to run my hands over my lover’s body to have it reveal its code to me as our lust increased. That would be incredibly sexy.

What do you think?

What Does Your Gender Mean to You?

1 11 2009

Wilhelmina Wang wants to know what gender means to me. In fact, she wants to know what it means to all of us and to add incentive, she’s made it a contest with some lovely prizes. The full details are below. Here is my response:

From Wikipedia:  The World Health Organization (WHO), for example, uses “gender” to refer to “the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women

I am female and have never identified as male. Though, I also believe that there is a spectrum of female roles, behaviors, activities and attributes. At times I’ve felt this to be more akin to how stereotypical a person is in their gender. In many ways I am not your typical woman, yet, that doesn’t mean that makes me more masculine. The absence of an ultra feminne stereotype does not make a male. It just makes me less of a frou-frou girl, if you get my drift. Perhaps it’s better to sum it up in I am not/I am.

I am not:

  • ultra-feminine in the stereotypical way, I don’t wear skirts much, care for lots of make up or fashion in the way that many girly-girls do
  • a lover of shopping, shoes, pink, frills, romance novels, or any of a billion other supposed “female” characteristics
  • a woman who sought with vigor to be a mother in order to feel fulfilled
  • a tomboy or boy-ish in any way, except for my humor sometimes and my ability to be “one of the guys” (i.e. not-prudish)
  • afraid of power tools, fixing things, bugs, dirt, camping or other things in the stereotypical “male” domain

I am:

  • feminine without trying to be
  • logical, rational, analytical and in control of my emotions; my hormone cycles don’t appear to effect this
  • a mother who encourages her daughter to be independent and stays neutral on pink as a color option (her fave color is blue)
  • lucky to have had incredible female role models in my life who are smart, funny and damned good at what they do. I don’t know/care if they are “pretty”, but to me they are all beautiful because of their energy.
  • independent, strong, assertive, kind, caring, creative and like my role models, smart, funny and damned good at what I do.
  • a good wife to my husband; we share in everything equally.
  • In fact, equality is incredibly important to me – whether in a marriage, or other family roles, between genders everywhere, and especially in the workforce and within society at large. The earnings gap makes me crazy. Paying more at the dry cleaners and hairdresser makes me livid. Paying sales tax on tampons because they’re considered “luxury items” makes me scream.

Have I ever identified as male? No, I don’t think so. Sexually, I’ve never wanted a penis nor to fuck somebody with a strap or to pack. (Though, I am always open to the idea that sexuality is an evolution. So, who knows? Perhaps that will change in the future.) The idea of having a penis seems alien and I’ve mentioned on occasion how if I had one it would just get in the way. I also don’t think I would like having such a visual sign of arousal.

Conversely, I also am not overly attracted to women sexually. There have been the odd occasion where I did entertain the idea of sex with another woman, and perhaps in the future might act on those ideas. But, I’m not driven by them. Overwhelmingly, I am attracted to men.

Ultimately, I love being female and all the complexities that that entails. I am completely at ease with being MY type of female on the spectrum. Though, I do admit that sometimes I have difficulty relating to those on either end of that spectrum. But I remain open to understanding and don’t pass judgment. The world needs diversity. And acceptance. And equality. Within, and outside of, whatever gender you happen to be.


Here are the contest details:

What does your gender mean to YOU?

This might seem like too much of a queer-centric contest, but even if you don’t play with your gender necessarily, I’m sure you still have feelings about your gender.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my own gender more, and while appear mostly feminine, I often wish that I could wake up and just pick whatever gender I wanted to be that day, and be it. Soon I’m going to be doing a series of posts/HNTs exploring my own gender(fucking), and I’m really looking forward to reading about other people’s takes on gender. I thought combining a shout out for feedback with a contest would be cool.


I’m not giving away as much as I was for my last contest, but the prizes are still pretty sweet:

1. A Femblossom Heat from Emotional Bliss!

femblossom_largeNot only does this vibrator vibrate, it heats up, matching the speed and frequency of the vibrations. After you use it, the Femblossom also secretes an antibacterial agent which means you can clean it with a quick wipe.

Specs: variable speeds + frequency, curved to fit the body, lats from 90-240 minutes, heats up + self-cleaning.

2. A Tantus Ryder!


Specs: anal plug, silicone, 4.1″ length and 1.5″ diameter.

How to Enter:

To enter, you need to do two things:

  1. Leave a comment on this post in response to the question: What does your gender mean to you?
  2. Spread the word about the contest! Either reblog or retweet. Or both, if you wish. If you’re reblogging, exact text would be best (don’t hotlink to the images, though), and you can add your own words to it. Link to the blog post in a comment. You can only do this a minimum of once. If you’re retweeting, do so at least once and a maximum of ten times, and use the following text: RT @wilhelminawang What does your gender mean to you? Answer and win a Femblossom Heat & TantusRyder! http://bit.ly/LOBoZ
  3. (Optional) Subscribe to my RSS feed and let me know in your comment that you have :)

Each comment, reblog and retweet will earn you one “entry” into the contest, and after all the entries are in I’ll use a randomizer to select the winner :) Yep, only one winner this time.

Deadline to enter: November 21st, midnight, EST.

A Few Moments at the Office

28 09 2009

A few weeks back I told you about Wilhelmina Wang‘s first anniversary contest for her blog Heatbreak Nymphomania where the challenge was to write about a first. Although, I didn’t win (check out the great stories from Lola Batling, Purple Foxglove and Alice Coquelicot who did), I thought I’d post my entry here, just the same. Some firsts are worth revisiting.

A Few Moments at the Office

It was a day filled with sexual tension. The sparks between us didn’t have far to arc in the tiny room we shared as an office. Swiveling my chair around, he leaned forward and kissed me hard. The heat between us exploded and soon we were on our feet, chairs rolling haphazardly out of the way, bodies tight against each other, his hand down the front of my pants, probing. “Get those off, “ he said as he shoved my keyboard and mouse out of the way. He extended the small sliding shelf extensions on either side of my desktop, the ones meant to give a little more room to lie out papers, or place a telephone. I’d had the desk for six years and had never noticed it’s great potential for sex before.


He patted the desktop and I hopped up. Placing each foot on the extensions, my knees were up and legs spread wide.  Reaching behind me, he slid me forward so that my ass was teetering off the edge of the desk. Running two fingers up my slit, he slid them into my very wet pussy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, our tongues entwined, our lust intense, the pace of our breathing quick.

Letting his pants drop to the floor, his cock bobbed with his pulse as he put on a condom. The height of the desk was perfect as he entered me. With long slow strokes the angle of my pelvis was perfect to receive him, and I could feel his cock filling me up over and over again. I moaned my pleasure loudly and dug my fingers into his shoulder blades, his speed increasing. I could feel my orgasm coming quickly, my muscles tightening around his cock. Reaching down, he rubbed my clit and buried himself deep within me as he came hard. I screamed out as his touch pushed me over the edge of an intense orgasm. My whole body tightened and clenched him, hands clawing at his back, my head tucked down, teeth bearing down on his shoulder. And, in that moment, there was an unmistakable sound. A splash hit the wooden floor below me.

We froze like that for some moments, locked in each other’s bodies. I could feel my pussy dripping, the space between our bodies unusually slick. He pulled back and checked the condom. “What the fuck was that?” I asked incredulously. “It appears you’ve squirted.” I looked down and on the floor below was a puddle. “What? But, I don’t do that!” He looked at me with a smile and replied, “Well, apparently you DO.”

What Was Your First?

12 09 2009

Wilhelmina Wang is holding a one year anniversary contest over at her blog, Heartbreak Nymphomania. She wants you to send her a story of a first, as she explains:

To enter the contest, I want you to tell me a story about the first time you did something that made you smoulder with desire, or bubble with joy. Anything involving sex/sexuality/general hottness. Like:

– your first really good kiss
– fulfilling a sex fantasy
– finding a dress/cologne/packing cock/something that made you feel drop-dead gorgeous
– first time squirting…

She will post the entries on her blog for the community to vote on. And she’s assembled three amazing prizes with products from Tantus, LELO, Njoy, Intimate Organics, Kinklab and Tristan Taormino.

I’ve submitted my entry that on first appearance could be about the first time I had sex on my desk. But, I assure you, it’s much more than that. Hopefully it will be picked to enter the judging round and you can read about it for yourselves.

I encourage everyone to enter Wilhelmina’s contest. But do it right away! The deadline is today at 11:59 PST.


9 09 2009

My eyes fluttered open and I saw darkness. I could hear people talking on the sidewalk as they passed just 3 feet from the open window. My ears were ringing and a thin sheen of sweat covered my body. Slowly, I released my death grip on the sheets I’d clawed and grasped, having balled them up and squeezed them tight against my chest. I opened my jaw and turned my head, releasing the pillow from my teeth. It muffled my screams from passers-by as best as it could when I crested over an intense and long-lasting G-spot orgasm. Still breathing heavily, I felt his hand pull away from between my legs. My body twitched and shuddered as he withdrew the still-pulsing vibe. Rolling from my side to my back, I felt the cold leather paddle beneath me, the bed wet from my sex. My ass felt hot.

Stretching my arms above my head, I let my hands hang off the side of the bed, the metal snap connectors jangling and straining against the D-rings of the heavy leather cuffs. My breathing slowed and I let out a long, slow exhale while I stretched my legs up the wall and crossed my ankles. I felt his warm hand travel the length of my leg, across my hip and come to a rest on my right breast, kneading it and gently tugging at the nipple. I moaned and arched into his touch. He shifted and came in close to my ear whispering, “You’re such a good little fuck toy. But, it’s time you got back to work.” He pulled the blindfold up and over my head, leaving me squinting, as the mid-afternoon sun washed over our bed.

HNT-8 Glow

HNT #8

(Thanks to Vixen and Sugasm for  including this post in Sugasm #173)


Play along with Half-Nekkid Thursday at Osbasso‘s and The Other HNT.

Sugasm #167

11 06 2009

Chloe courtesy of Viviane’s Sex Carnival.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #168? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Every Time You Orgasm, An Angel Gets Its Wings
“There is nothing that screams “fuck you” to the pain and the hurt in the world than screaming “fuck me” to the person in your bed.”

HNT: Spanked
“I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. But tonight, I was sure.”

A Thousand Kisses
“This wasn’t enough. I knew that I had to try something else.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Congratulations, you’re invited!

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Religion

Editor’s Choice
Food, fun and commitment

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Love HNT Part II
So Many Stripes
Valentina Vaughn
Video Q&A #1

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Fat Ass Betty
Full Circle
Going where no one has gone before

Sex Humor
Adventures in Craigslist (and a belated HNT)

Erotic Writing & Experiences
Conversations about Crossdressing (Early Morning Version)
A Feast of Cock
Gender Fuck
Her Favorite Positions – The Conclusion
I Can’t Get No…Contraception
Lessons from an Orgy
Lilly’s Turn – Part 2: Wherein One Good Turn Deserves Another
Must be the weather…
New Perspective
Picture of Propriety
Playing with Dolls
Please don’t book me ever again
The Poet Surrenders
Rebirth In An Orgy
The Synestheatre
Wet dream at the airport-part1
A Wicked Birthday Bang

BDSM & Fetish
Bending over for some harsh cane stripes
Digging a hole, is that the way you treat me
Lick me
Preparing for Punishment: part one
Puppy’s first visit
A Salute to Masturbation May
SF Treat
Subs: How to NOT Apply
That Look
Thoughts about the play party and Femdom.
Under 40 ~ The New Kinky Bar
What Kind of Submissive Are You?

Sex Advice
How to be bisexual on the internet
How to Give a Tantric Breast Massage
Sometimes You Need A Break…

News, Reviews & Interviews
It’s Good to be the Intern
Kink Interview: Thomas’s Spanking Exploits
LELO Luna Beads: Because You Deserve Them
Product Review: Intimate Organics Energizing Fresh Orange & Wild Ginger Foot Foreplay Lotion
Top 5 Tuesday – Sun, Sand and Smut!